A Sunshine Getaway from the UK Holiday . . . Please!

Bob's Blog

A Sunshine Getaway from the UK Holiday . . . Please!

It's January, midwinter in the dour UK and we Brits are all looking forward get away from it all for a holiday abroad in search of guaranteed sunshine. 

Package tours are very popular, but after a week or so following your tour guide around, you do tend to transform from a human holidaymaker with your own mind, to one of a flock of obedient sheep following a good shepherd, without as much as a 'Baa!'.

 One tour guide a few years ago had us eating out of his hand after the first morning when he left people behind because they were late for the day's coach tour. From that day onwards we were all prompt, meek and compliant to his every wish.

Without exception we all queued at the ice-cream vendor that he said sold the best ice creams, the stall that he said sold the best natural olive oil and ate at the restaurant he said served the best and most authentic local cuisine. Meanwhile our guide was sharing an intimate chat, cigarette and possible exchange of cash with the proprietor of each. Meanwhile the other retail outlets nearby were left idly twiddling their thumbs in isolation with no customers whatsoever.

And you return happy from your holiday after a 1-week bargain package-tour of lots of different cultures and countries. Twenty minutes at every place of interest followed by 2-hours locked inside a tacky tourist gift-shop run by the coach driver's cousin. Succumb to all the sales pitches from all the itinerant traders and return, with a sun-blotched face, happily clutching plastic bags, bulging with cheap old tat.

Can't wait!