A Sunshine Getaway from the UK Holiday . . . Please!

Bob's Blog

A Sunshine Getaway from the UK Holiday . . . Please!

It's January, midwinter in the dour UK and we Brits are all looking forward get away from it all for a holiday abroad in search of guaranteed sunshine. 

Package tours are very popular, but after a week or so following your tour guide around, you do tend to transform from a human holidaymaker with your own mind, to one of a flock of obedient sheep following a good shepherd, without as much as a 'Baa!'.

 One tour guide a few years ago had us eating out of his hand after the first morning when he left people behind because they were late for the day's coach tour. From that day onwards we were all prompt, meek and compliant to his every wish.

Without exception we all queued at the ice-cream vendor that he said sold the best ice creams, the stall that he said sold the best natural olive oil and ate at the restaurant he said served the best and most authentic local cuisine. Meanwhile our guide was sharing an intimate chat, cigarette and possible exchange of cash with the proprietor of each. Meanwhile the other retail outlets nearby were left idly twiddling their thumbs in isolation with no customers whatsoever.

And you return happy from your holiday after a 1-week bargain package-tour of lots of different cultures and countries. Twenty minutes at every place of interest followed by 2-hours locked inside a tacky tourist gift-shop run by the coach driver's cousin. Succumb to all the sales pitches from all the itinerant traders and return, with a sun-blotched face, happily clutching plastic bags, bulging with cheap old tat.

Can't wait!

My Own UK VIP Passport's Arrived. Thanks Ma'am

Bob's Blog

My very-own Personalised Passport 

I've just received my brand new replacement state-of-the-art redesigned UK passport and noticed something very familiar inside. And it wasn't my unsmiling, squinting, spectacle-less, prison style mugshot.

To make forgeries more difficult, these new passports display several crafty and intricate pictures and logos. They now make a must-have document to own - and they are extremely attractive. 

Inside the cover there is a picture of some very picturesque cottages. I took a double take: I recognised them immediately, not because they are the famous and very beautiful weavers' cottages, Arlington Row, Bibury in Gloucestershire; but because my granddad was born in one of those very cottages in the passport picture, long ago in 1845. However, he forsook the Cotswolds and the drudgery of rural life to seek his fortune not far from London, and worked in the world famous department store: Liberty. Needless to say he didn't make his fortune - it's a family trait. My mother was rather a late addition to his second marriage when he was of advancing years. Well done grandad! And Grandma too!

Now, not many people have a personalised passport I'm sure. I believe that The Queen doesn't need one. But I do, and my complements to Her Majesty for allowing a picture of my granddad's birthplace in my passport. Thank you Ma'am. That's much better than personalised number plates. That's a double identity check that's hard to beat! I'm looking forward to passing through my next passport control. I'll aside: 'My granddad was born in one of those!' flicking it open with some style. 'VIP lounge Sir?' Probably not the response . . . 'Move along there' the more likely. But I bet they've not heard that one before in passport control. I don't reckon many other people can boast that, can they?

I haven't scanned my actual passport picture and blogged it, as that is possibly illegal. I don't want to end up in the tower, and what's much worse, have my gorgeous new personalised passport confiscated.

Binge-watch

Bob's Blog

Binge-watch



Collins English Dictionary has chosen 'binge-watch' as its 2015 Word of the Year.


That's when viewers catch-up by watching their recorded television series in one go, episode after episode. That's called binge-watching that is.


Are you a binge-watcher?


And, what makes a binge-watcher?

It's watching the first episode of a recorded series that you'd missed because you were on holiday or because you were viewing another programme on another channel. And not to lose the continuity, watching the next recording directly following it. And the next. And the next. It's compulsive. It can be a marathon. It's a busy activity, slouching and couching; but job activity in the house is directly affected - nothing. It's catchup time: the decorating stays undecorated, the washing stays unwashed and the shortlist of DIY jobs gets longer.


With programmes that have six episodes or so, it's manageable. After all, that only amounts to six to twelve hours of your life. One quarter to one half of your day watching TV. What's wrong with that? Problems occur when it's a series that goes on and on, then has a subsequent series, or seasons, then more. Blue Bloods and Friends are prime examples, although, if you watch them in the wrong order, I don't think you'd notice. And they are available on multiple channels, each one showing a different series. Confusing?

Programming these takes a certain amount of intelligence. No doubt there will be a university degree in binge-watch very soon. The Plus 1 TV channels have made things even more challenging. If it's a complicated detective drama, you have the added complication of getting the murders in the right order, not finding out who the dastardly murderer is prematurely, or finding out who did it and with what. And that's before they've wielded as much as an eyebrow.


Binge-watching is a skill. Not to waste time, fast-forwarding the ads is recommended. Lack of timing or concentration results in overrunning and having to rewind. If this occurs, unskilled operators may watch the same segment twice. Experience binge-watchers may brew the coffee with one hand and work the remote with the other hand at the same time. This is called binge-juggling. This is not to be recommended as can result in a visit to ER.

In reality, ER: the actual hospital department, not the virtual programme.

Bargain Hunt

Bob’s Blog

Bargain Hunting at Home

Do you watch those antique programmes on the tele? Antiques Roadshow is my favourite, but there are plenty of others in various formats. Their basic premise is for members of the public to bring their family heirloom; something obtained under mysterious circumstances by a distant relative (Great  Uncle 'Fingers' Fred? ); or an item they’ve picked up for a quid at a car-boot sale. And to find out if they are holding something worth a small fortune in their trembling little hands.

For us viewers, part of the appeal is that one day, perhaps, something might be shown on the television screen during the programme, and you have that identical article in your loft, or propping open the shed door.

This happened to me: a piece of sculptured pottery bought for a song was found by the TV expert to be worth several thousand pounds. The key, they said, were the markings under the base. The Antiques Roadshow experts can tell the year/issue/artist just from that. They confirmed that the said item was indeed the definite article - no fraudulent copy. The owner looked pleasantly surprised but said it was a family keepsake and it was not for sale. I concluded however that they would probably put it immediately on EBay with a huge reserve, or be on the phone to Sotheby's pretty pronto.

As I watched, slouching on the settee, directly in my eyeline on the coffee table in front of me, was a very similar looking ornament indeed. Needless to say, my heart pounded, gathering speed rapidly, and I sat up sharply with intense interest. But I couldn’t recollect where my antique had come from. Was it from my wife’s or my side of the family, and what would we spend the windfall on?

I picked it up very carefully and turned it over to look at the base. And there revealed in front of me was the evidence I needed, clearly marked . . .

The First Post

This is the first post on my new blog - just a test to see if I'm out there!